i see myself
i make a new self-portrait every time there is some changes, to record the change not only in my physical self, but also in the way I perceive myself artistically.
The self is a landscape.
Name: I wanna scream
Medium: Oil pastels on paper
I did this one fast, just for an in-class assignment. I went with orange and purple—two colors I almost never touch, let alone together. But I couldn’t see the body as anything but orange. It had to be.
This self-portrait marks a new era for me.
Name: Self-portrait 1
Medium: Pencil & acrylic on paper
When I first drew self-portraits, they were pencil sketches - simple attempts to make the figure look as close to me as possible. I thought that was the whole point: accuracy.
Later, I realized a self-portrait isn’t just about appearance. It’s about what’s inside: thoughts, emotions, moods. It’s less about resembling a photograph and more about revealing how I see myself.
This is the first self-portrait that looks nothing like me, yet feels the most like me. I turned myself into a big-eyed child. The idea came half-dreaming: I didn’t know exactly what form it would take, only that it had to be against red. Not because red is my favorite color (though it is), but because I felt red - intense, alive, emotional. I imagined myself standing there on this sea of red, looking out at the world with childlike eyes.
The body is stripped down to a simple shape, still and calm. That quietness mirrors what people often tell me: “You give off such chill vibes.” And yet beneath that calmness, I burn with passion. The simplicity keeps the focus where it belongs - on the eyes.
In my head I was standing in a stream, screaming under an orange sky. Not from anger, but from freedom. It was right at the end of the Covid lockdown, when I kept imagining what it would feel like to finally step out, to breathe again. Under this burning sky? On this never-ending stream? But at least, no more masks, not even clothes. Pure freedom in nature.
From the back, it's a different story.
Name: Backache (left)
Medium: Watercolor
Name: Untitled sketch 18 (right)
Medium: Pencil
These two pieces were done in different mediums: pencil, my old comfort since manga days - steady in my hand, though never perfect in anatomy; and watercolor - the one I still find hardest to control. Both, however, approach the self-portrait from behind.
I’ve always felt that backs tell stories. From behind, you can’t see if someone is smiling or crying, but you catch the larger picture: their posture, their composure - whether they’re weighed down by pain or lit up by pleasure.
With that in mind, these two portraits show me at opposite ends of my moods: one slumped under the weight of office work, the long lockdown, or maybe just the creeping aches of my late 20s (yep…); and the other open, curious, clearly in a sexual position, enjoying it (probaly the reason for the backache).
Two sides of living.
The mood shows through color temperature.
Name: Baby it's hot inside
Medium: Oil pastels on paper
As my style evolves, I find it less about the shape and more about what color can reveal. For someone who lives in constant waves of excitement and emotional swings, color isn’t just decoration - it’s the only way to translate mood.
In this self-portrait, I wanted to capture a quiet night with a touch of romance, the sky echoing Starry Night. The walls are pitch black, and within the dark room, there are always bodies carrying heat and desire. Or maybe it’s simply a hot summer night.
The main figure, me, rests easily, because it’s her own space. It’s just me, in conversation with the stars.
Name: Untitled
Medium: Digital
Digital does not take away authenticity.
I began exploring digital art around 2020–2021. It’s easy to assume the medium only fits certain illustration styles, but I quickly realized it offers endless possibilities—experimentation with almost no risk. For this in-class self-portrait challenge, I pushed myself to break out of my usual habits and play with new shapes and styles, loosely inspired by Cubism and geometric art.
Name: Untitled
Medium: Digital
Name: Untitled
Medium: Digital
Self-portrayal in non-human form
Name: Octopus
Medium: Digital
In this piece, I experimented with translating inner mood into a non-human shape. I chose a creature resembling an octopus, set in a dark parallel world - something like the Upside Down from Stranger Things.
I’ve dreamed of places like this, not the exact visuals, but the feeling of a void world that exists alongside ours, distant yet close. The octopus reaches out, trying to touch everything, to make sense of the physical world around it.
Negative reflections
Name: Ugly woman
Medium: Oil pastels on paper
This piece was made in a time of sinking moods, when every glance in the mirror felt like proof of my own flaws. It pulled me back to childhood, when mirrors frightened me - not because of what they showed, but because of what I feared I might see. Was it really my reflection I was scared of, or the insecurities and sadness already inside me?
After a coffee outing I came home feeling ugly. Nobody said or did anything to hurt me, yet the feeling stuck. I picked up an oil pastel and sketched the woman I saw. Somehow, she has no mouth. And that feels right - because she doesn’t really have a voice.
Portrayal of loneliness and sadness
Name: Hold it in
Medium: Digital
This piece depicts me in a moment of loneliness and helplessness. I don’t quite remember the details of the feeling anymore - only that it was overwhelming, like a wave crashing over me. Insecurity first, then loneliness. Sometimes it feels like I can only hold myself.
I don’t often talk about feeling helpless - it never seems worth anyone’s attention. But that’s what art is for: a place to bare your soul. It may sound dramatic, but emotions are dramatic. They come, they spill over, and then you cry. Not always from sadness, but simply because there’s too much to carry inside.
Portrayal of body insecurities
Name: Ngượng (Shy)
Medium: Acrylic pens
This piece shows me in a moment of body insecurity. Lately I’ve been struggling with weight loss, and for the first time, I don’t enjoy looking at my own nudes. It feels like there’s always an eye on me, sometimes casting judgment, sometimes desire. I still love this body, the feeling of being in it, of touching it. But that gaze makes everything feel heavier, literally heavy.
I’ve always been drawn to nudes, both in drawing and in painting. On canvas, any body shape carries beauty. In this piece, the woman is intentionally chubby, yet she radiates life and sensuality.
Here, the hands grow large and cover the face, a helpless act of self-defense against judgmental eyes. Staying loyal to red as the dominant color in my work, I paired it with soft purple to soothe the gaze. It isn’t meant to be an embarrassing moment, but one that balances on a fragile line, where the only thing between pride and shame is the courage to claim your own beauty.
Multiple sides of a human
Name: Two identities
Medium: Digital
This piece was created in real time while listening to a friend talk about feeling like two different people - one in Korea, another when she returns to Vietnam. It made me wonder: maybe each of us holds more than one self. Or maybe there is none at all. Self and consciousness are so tightly knotted with upbringing and circumstance that we may never fully know who we are.
The process mirrored that thought. I began with a blank page, layering colors without a plan, making decisions quickly and intuitively. I never know how the end will look until it arrives. It’s scary, but also deeply satisfying - like watching the self form and dissolve at the same time.
